talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
