how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
