Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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