I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
