Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize