I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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