My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
