things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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