Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
