how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
