let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
