Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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