is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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