My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
