You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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