Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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