More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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