Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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