we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
