Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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