kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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