Need sex. Gaining weight.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
