I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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