5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
