i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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