So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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