I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
