they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
