i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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