I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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