This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
