Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
