didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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