i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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