if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
