i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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