I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
