ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
