billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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