bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
