Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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