Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
