i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
