I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
