i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
