Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
