Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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