Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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