Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
