Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
