I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
