Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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