why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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