The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
