Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
40s are totally the cure
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
