Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
