Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize