so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
