peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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