is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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