I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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