I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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