Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
