shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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