i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am available for nakedness
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize